Saturday, March 17, 2012

The Day of the Operation

Recently, I was admitted to a hospital to get treatment for the pain I was enduring in my left hip bone since the past few months. An MRI scan had showed I was suffering from a condition called Bilateral Avascular Necrosis (Bilateral AVN), meaning both my hip bones have been affected with this condition (although I never felt pain in my right hip bone but the MRI scan showed my right hip is also affected and is in its earliest of early stages of the condition). So, an operation called Core Decompression was performed on both my hips on 5th of March and I have been confined to a wheelchair ever since. I am not supposed to walk for the next 4 to 5 weeks at least.

I had written a series of logs documenting the “Day of the Operation” while I was in the hospital and had saved them as memo files on my cell phone. I would like to present them to my readers. Initially, I wanted to keep them only to myself but later on I changed my mind. I haven’t changed the verbatim or the sentence structure too much except if I have mentioned them in brackets. So the below few paragraphs will showcase my exact state of mind on the day of my operation.

I have been on empty stomach since last night, I was a little agitated thinking about today but somehow managed to have some good night’s sleep. My operation was supposed to take place at 10AM but with my prior experience with Manipal Hospital, I can safely say I am in for a long day. (I was also made to wait a long time when I was admitted here for my ITP issue two years ago, a procedure called Bone Marrow was supposed to be done by 10 in the morning but it didn’t happen until 01:30PM.)

My visits to the loo became a bit frequent in the meanwhile and I kept asking myself, “Will this be the last time I answer my nature’s call on my own for the next few weeks?” I tried not to let thoughts like these bother me but it was becoming difficult as the wait was killing me. 

As I was on empty stomach since last night, my mother also refused to eat anything which upset me a lot as I didn’t want my mom to suffer because of me. I kept forcing my mom to eat something, she finally did which gave me a lot of relief. 

Its quarter past 12 and I still haven’t got the call to go to the Operation Theater. It seems the OT is full and many patients are still in waiting so I was made to wait even longer. I was getting restless by the minute but held myself together. I had no fear but just wanted to get it over with.

Finally at 3PM, I get the call to go to the OT, was taken to OT on a stretcher, felt a bit odd though. Reach the OT, a spine tingling moment but I was made to wait again as there was some cleaning up process going on after an operation. I was dumped just outside the OT in a restricted room. I just laid there watching few Doctors and helpers walk back and forth by me. The wait seemed endless and my restlessness grew even more. In the meanwhile a Doctor who was at the end of her shift apparently, spoke to me. Asked me when did I eat last, I answered “Last night”. She felt bad and she said, “Oh, this is why we don't like to make the patients wait, but the OT is very busy today”. I just nodded. While she left she just waved at me and said “Good Luck”, I replied with a “Thank You” and a smile.
Operation Theater
Image Courtesy: Google Images
Finally I was taken in to the Operation Theater, I saw the time, it was 05:05PM. I said to myself, “Freak, that was the longest two hours of my life”. I was given the anesthesia and I was asked to breathe heavily into an oxygen mask to go to sleep before a caring pat on the back by Dr.Varma, my orthopedic surgeon. And that’s the last thing I remember.

When I woke up, I remember shivering profusely. It took me three whole seconds to realize the operation was actually over. First thing I read was the Post Ortho OT room board right in front of me. I was still shivering but I was in my senses, so much so that I asked the lady who was there in the Post OT room, “Was it really that cold in the OT?”, barely managing to say those words in a single breath. She smiled and said, “Yes”, indicating I need to rest now. A heating instrument was placed right above me to increase my body temperature. I overheard the lady talking to someone on the phone that my operation went on for an hour from 05:30 to 06:30PM. I asked her what time it was, she said, “Ten past seven”. So I was unconscious for over two hours, I was kept in the Post OT room for another two hours. Later I was to be taken to the X-Ray room to get the X-Ray of my hips after the operation.

I was to be shifted to another stretcher to carry me to the X-Ray room which was in the -1 floor. A couple of nurses and helpers came along. A junior Doctor asked me if I can move to the stretcher on my own, I immediately nodded in approval. When I tried to move my legs, I couldn’t move them an inch. Both my hips were heavily plastered and the pressure was so immense, I couldn’t even move them. I could feel my legs but didn’t have enough strength to get them across to the other stretcher. I told them, “I can’t move my legs”. When I uttered those words, it was probably one of the most significant moments of my life. I couldn’t believe I said that. So a couple of nurses held my legs and placed it onto the stretcher. A male nurse tried to hold my shoulders to help me move to the stretcher but I refused, I said, “I can do it on my own”. My ego was already bruised so I wouldn’t let that happen again. I garnered all my upper body strength and managed to move myself on to the stretcher on my own. A triumphant moment and my ego restored. Considering the fact that I hadn’t eaten or drank anything for 24 hours now, I still had some strength left in me.

I was carried to the X-Ray room by a cute nurse and another female helper. I felt like vomiting along the way because of the anesthesia but tried to hold it in. We were in the middle of nowhere so the nurse couldn’t find anything like a bowl or a cover for my vomiting sensation. Along the way I felt somewhat okay so was taken straight to the X-Ray room. There was again another struggle here to get me across to the X-Ray table and then back on the stretcher, once it was done. Finally, I was going to be taken back to my room on the 9th floor. While coming back, finally saw my mom and my brother with a concerned look on their faces. I just looked at my bro and gave him a thumbs up, as if to say I was doing great. Before we could enter my room, I vomited on the floor. It was an embarrassing moment but was unavoidable. I was placed on my bed a few minutes later, did most of the moving myself yet again. And so it was finally done.

But the real battle starts now!

79 comments:

  1. don't know what to say Akshay. reading this was like being right next to you while you went through another difficult phase of your life

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    1. Thank you so much Sujatha Ma'm. That means a lot to me. :)

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  2. Akshay, all the best for the recouping part. I could feel the struggle when you wanted to shift to the stretcher. Amazing courage to put in words, what you are going through!

    You are doing great.

    God bless.

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    1. Hey thank you once again for your kind words, Vetrimagal. Really means a lot to me. :)

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  3. All the best, brother, you have all our prayers and good intent with you in your recovery.

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    1. Thanks a lot brother, I need your prayers and good wishes. I keep chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. It does make me feel so much better. :)

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  4. Take care Akshay and get well soon.. Godspeed your recovery!!

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    1. Thank you very much Deepak for your good wishes. :)

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  5. The Eternal Fighter, The Ultimate Comeback Kid , i hope you will get over it.. good luck..

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    1. Thanks a lot Sumukh. Really appreciate your wishes! :)

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  6. Yes, I agree that the real battle starts now, But Thank God the Operation was over. Wish you a speedy Recovery. My prayers and Wishes for your recuperation. May God Give you all the strength you need to help you overcome this period.
    Get well soon! :-)

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    1. And Always remember to Smile. It makes you feel better. It makes people around you feel even better, Which would in turn make you feel Loads better! Trust me.

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    2. Thank you Ashwini for your beautiful comment, really makes me feel better just by reading your comments. Always appreciate them! :)

      Yes, I always smile and stay positive even if I am in absolute dire-straits. That really helps me a lot. Thanks again for your wishes, really means a lot to me. :)

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  7. Get well soon. I wont say that's a good post coz these are honest words and written out of deep emotions in that difficult stage. I understand, since I have been thru such a time few year ago. It was touching with every word seem to cry out of that helplessness and concern. Take care, wishng u speedy recovery

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    1. Thank you Shilpi, for your concern and care. I am truly indebted. :)

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  8. and you WILL win the battle Akshay :)

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    1. Thank you so much Divya. Your comment puts a smile on my face :) I WILL win for sure. :)

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  9. I am saying it again bro !
    come out lets play... once everything comes fine :)
    we will together dance for all Shakira Ji songs :)
    Hips may lie :D
    Smileeeeeeee !

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    1. hahaha! Thanks a lot bro, very nice of you to say that! :)
      Dancing for my Shaki's songs? Hmmmm I would love it. :):)

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  10. Akshay, wish you speedy recovery and helathy life forever..
    I pray that you need not go through this ordeal again. No more hospital visits.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind wishes and prayers, Rajesh. :) I also hope I don't have to go through this again. :)

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  11. Hope you are much better now, and even as I am typing this comment rapidly recovering your strength...what a powerful and lucid piece of writing...thanks for sharing your experience...waiting for the next segment...get well soon! cheers

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    1. Thank you so much Suchi for your concern and your kind words, really appreciate it. :) And welcome to my blog. :)

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  12. How could you write from the hospital bed! It is more than 10 days since the operation. Hope you have been progressing well. Wish you speedy recovery.

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    1. I wrote almost all the contents of this post while I was in the hospital and had saved them on my cell phone, I just reproduced the same couple of days ago on my blog (long after I was discharged, of course).

      Thank you so much Sir for your well wishes. :)

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  13. Wish you a super speedy recovery Akshay! I pray that you get back and get kicking very very soon! Sending across a bouquet of good wishes and prayers!! :)

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    1. Thank you so much Arti for all the good wishes and prayers. I am indebted. :)

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  14. Get well soon bro...you brought the whole OT seen live...GOD bless u... :)

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  15. You have been through a lot...what can i say ! let us hope it is all sunshine & flowers for you from now on !

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    1. I hope so too Indu. Thank you very much for your concern. :)

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  16. Hope to hear you fit and fine soon...Take care:)

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  17. Hey Akshay.. I am in lack of words after reading this post of yours. U are too brave to handle all this and to recall all the moments once again and write it here..
    U have mentioned in your post that because of your ego you did most of the moving yourself even soon after your operation, but I don't consider it as your ego , i feel its your will power. And with this will power there is none to stop you from getting recovered super fast:) Get well soon:)

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    1. Thank you so much Sonia for your kind words, always glad to hear from you. :):) I have never been dependent on anyone, always wanted to do all the things by myself. So here I had to be dependent on others (if I like it or not or if I want it or not) to get my work done. That's where my ego issue crops up. But I do know I am mentally strong and I have strong will power to sustain anything. I guess I need to draw the line between my ego, my pride or my will power issues.

      But thank you so much for your beautiful comment, made me a lot stronger. :)

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  18. First, I don't whether I should say that or not but I sleep really well when the oxygen mask is on. People find it funny but the room where they keep you after surgeries are peaceful. I think Ego is one thing we should let it go. As a female, I hope you understand when a female is sick, she goes through more humiliating things in the hospital. God is testing you and once you are OK, you will run and you will gasp for breath.

    Take good care of yourself. Thanks for sharing and I applaud you for writing this as I can never...

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    1. Saru, I do know that you have been through a lot, health wise so I can empathize with you to a certain extent if not completely. Because as you said its much tougher for women when they have health issues than men. So I can only imagine what you had to go through. Ego issues, yes I need to sort out but I make sure not to hurt anybody's feelings because of my ego.

      And thank you once again for being so supportive and understanding. I am truly grateful. Take care dear. :)

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    2. You know when people quote 'Health is wealth' I wonder do they actually know the meaning of it. They should ask people like us the value of this quote...

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    3. Seriously dear, I couldn't agree more. We have lived with it and through it to understand the true meaning of that quote. :)

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    4. Reading it again today after a gap of 2 years. Still same thoughts. Life is really challenging for some people. :)

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    5. Thank you, Saru. This means so much to me. :)

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  19. Now that you are done with it, its a hurdle you have already conquered. Rest Well, do things that you like and get back on your toes with a zest for life . Good Luck :)

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    1. Thank you once again Jayashree for your care and concern. I am also waiting to get back on my feet and enjoying the things I always wanted to do! :)

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  20. Akshay, the darkness is all behind you now. You are a gutsy chap and should be able to fly past the extended recovery period.

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  21. I see in you a lot of will power.Chuck all the darkness and smile a happier and healthier self! Get well soon Akshay!:) It is all in you ..Ignite your little spark to a glowing flame! :)

    Prayers and love!

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    1. Thank you so much Jen for your encouraging and inspiring words. Really appreciate them. :):)

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  22. Difficult times ahead of you.. But you seem like a strong person. And be up and about in no time. :-)

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    1. Thanks a lot Zeba for your kind words. Welcome to my blog! :-)

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  23. i admire u for your strength and i hope u remain strong through these trying times and come out strong out of it...u will defeat the prblem and am very sure about it:)get well soon and take good care of urself

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    1. Thank you so much Alka for always being so supportive, it really means a lot to me. Your words inspire me and give me strength. Thanks again. :)

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  24. Heyy..how are you feeling now?..

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    1. Feeling better by the day, my leg movements have improved a lot but will still have to move along in a wheelchair for another 3 weeks at least. Thanks Keerthana for your concern. :)

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    2. Good..Hope you aren't getting too bored..Hey why don't you start writing a novel?..:)..just an idea :P

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    3. :) That's a novel idea :D Will surely think about it. :) But need to catch up a lot on my IAS preparations, fallen way behind because of my health issues. :(

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  25. Don't know wat to say. Hope U will have a speedy recovery n luv to hear U saying that U r fit n fine. Y can't U enter in Indiblogger.in Contests?.

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    1. Thank you so much Christy for your constant support and care. :)I also hope to recover completely very soon. :)

      About contests on Indi, well I wasn't so interested initially, also bit hesitant for some reason but will surely think about at least participating in one in future. :):)

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  26. Loved the spirit with which u wrote it like some funny incident..

    Keep having that.. there will be no problem with u! :)

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    1. Thank you so much KP for your good wishes. :):)

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  27. I found out so difficult to read this post. I can't even imagine how you went through all this. Your spirit is phenomenal and a big salute to that. And I wish u a very very speedy recovery. :)

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    1. Thank you so much Raj for your good wishes.I always appreciate your beautiful and inspiring comments :)

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  28. OMG! All the best! I know how it is! Keep fighting <3

    Love
    http://www.meghasarin.blogspot.com

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  29. Goodness! Hope all becomes well soon.

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  30. I hope you recover very quickly, what a battle it must have been. Take care of yourself, don't rush things, take it easy and you will be and running again as good as new. I wish you all the best. I am a new follower. We lived in New Delhi for 5 years and my daughter hungrycaramella.blogspot.com grew up there so she misses it a lot. I make Indian food at home frequently. Luckily now there are many Indian restaurants in Rome though.

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    1. Hey Francesca, thank you so much for your concern and your kind words. Its not been easy for me but yes, fighting it out. Thanks a lot for your valuable advice as well. Will surely follow. :)

      Just curious to know, how did you find my blog? And nice to know you lived in Delhi for a few years. And I am your 1111th follower! :)

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  31. U r a wondaful person akshay !!! itz hard dat u'v been through all thiz .... felt very bad... afta i visited yo place i waz stil thinkin hw much painu'v gone through..... i juz hope dat u'l get wel soon ... n by god'z grace it shudn't reoccur..... tak care !!!

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    1. Thank you so much sis for always being there for me. You came to visit me the other day, it made me so much stronger. Your concern and care means everything to me. :) Love you! :)

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  32. Hope you are feeling better Akshay. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
    Take care.

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    1. Thank you so much Leo Paw. Yes, I am getting better by the day. :):)

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  33. Akshay I went through a health scare recently but I don't have the guts to share details in cyber space. Trust me the only thing that helps is faith. It is all about coping with the pain, the darkness until some light appears. Do not let negativity come close. Even a stray negative thought needs to be shunned away. But all this is easier said than done. Keep fighting. As I said you will bounce back. Soon.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, Alka. Really apologize for such a delayed response, not sure how I missed it. :(

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  34. What do i say, seems this experience of yours has made you stronger. Heartening 2 see you kicking and that too with zeal.

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  35. Hey Akshay,
    How are you? I hope you are doing much better now. Hats off to you, that you managed to get through this ordeal.
    I would like to talk to you. Will you be able to share your contacts?

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    1. Thank you. I hope you are the same person who contacted me on Twitter. :)

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